Many still hold onto the image of the capital-L Leader: extroverted, magnetic, instantly commanding respect, and effortlessly drawing others in. But that ideal is unrealistic for many—and it doesn’t have to be met.

There are countless paths to achieving a goal. The key is to find ours.

We once worked with a leader whose top strengths were in Strategic Thinking and certain Relationship Building themes—but with no Influencing themes in their top 10. This bothered them.

When we asked, “When do you feel like your most effective influencer?”, the answer was:
“When I’m teaching people something.”

That was their Developer strength in action—a Relationship Building theme that nonetheless has strong influence. It allowed them to achieve their goal of influencing others authentically and effectively. This approach not only made their everyday work more natural but also put colleagues at ease, avoiding the tension that forced conformity can create.

The same holds true within leadership teams. When two people openly share and discuss their strengths, perspective shifts happen. The colleague seen as “stubborn” or “slow to decide” may be leading with Deliberative. Another, who “jumps in without thinking,” may be an Activator. Once we recognise these patterns, the source of tension becomes clear—and often, the differences we saw as obstacles turn out to be the very ingredients for better collaboration and results.